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<font color={{CharacterColor|Gou}}>'''Gou'''</font>: Oh uh…is that so? I’m very sorry for the confusion…
 
<font color={{CharacterColor|Gou}}>'''Gou'''</font>: Oh uh…is that so? I’m very sorry for the confusion…
   
<font color={{CharacterColor|Momotaro}}>'''Momo'''</font>: No need to apologise! I’ll just keep on coming here until you remember! My name is Mikoshiba Momotarou! I work as a caretaker at the aquarium. My favourite food is triple cheese hamburgers! My favourite movie is “A Rat’s Tale.” My favourite oden type is the chikuwabu (t/n omg i can’t stop thinking of Boueibu now lol)! An island I would really like to visit is the Aleutian Islands!
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<font color={{CharacterColor|Momotaro}}>'''Momo'''</font>: No need to apologise! I’ll just keep on coming here until you remember! My name is Mikoshiba Momotarou! I work as a caretaker at the aquarium. My favourite food is triple cheese hamburgers! My favourite movie is “A Rat’s Tale.” My favourite oden type is the chikuwabu! An island I would really like to visit is the Aleutian Islands!
   
 
<font color={{CharacterColor|Gou}}>'''Gou'''</font>: Wow, so you’re a caretaker at the aquarium? I just so happened to see the otters not too long ago!
 
<font color={{CharacterColor|Gou}}>'''Gou'''</font>: Wow, so you’re a caretaker at the aquarium? I just so happened to see the otters not too long ago!

Revision as of 09:27, 8 April 2021

Interview
Drama


Matenro no Vassallo (麻天狼のバサロ lit. Skyscraper Vassallo)

In a building at night

The Emergency Alarm sounds “Beep Beep!” and the Phantom Otter breaks in through the CEO’s office’s glass window.

He got away!

He’s over there!

I will definitely not let you escape!

In the midst of the discord, the Phantom Otter makes a run for it after stealing the precious wood carving statue of the Iwatobi Mascot.

Phantom Otter: (proudly laughing) Ha ha!

The Phantom Otter runs. He zips through the middle of the city and makes his way to the bridge over the river, crossing it to escape. But in front of him is a police car! Behind him is the security personnel fro the building with the corrupt owner of the treasure the thief stole. Cornered on the bridge on both ends, the Phantom Otter is in quite a bind.

Fortunately, the Phantom Otter does not falter and stands on top of the bridge’s handrail and takes out the Golden Iwatobi and Silver Iwatobi from underneath his cloak.

Phantom Otter: What’cha guys lose? Is it the Golden Iwatobi? Or is it this Silver Iwatobi here?

Corrupt Boss: Stop messing around! None of those are it! What I’m missing is the wooden carved statue of Iwatobi! It’s an antique, so just how much do you think it’s worth!?

Phantom Otter: Yes! The angry boss answered honestly, so I will bestow upon thee both the Gold and Silver Iwatobis! But, both are gold and silver-plated fakes!

Corrupt Boss: WHAT?!

The Phantom Otter approaches the middle of the bridge and throws both the Gold and Silver Iwatobi. *boom* Smoke and a blinding light appear and in the midst of this, the Phantom Otter laughs, holding the wooden Iwatobi statue.

Phantom Otter: Hehe. This extravagant display definitely deceived many, but the Wooden Statue will be returned to its rightful owner!

Suddenly, the Phantom Duck appears underneath the bridge in a Duck Boat.

Phantom Duck: What in the world are you doing, Momo-kun? Hurry we gotta run!

Phantom Otter: Gotcha~

The Phantom Otter jumps off the bridge and onboard the Duck Boat. The corrupt boss threatens from the railing of the bridge.

Corrupt Boss: You think you can get away with this?

But the Phantom Otter offers a sly grin.

Phantom Duck: Fufufu. Anyway, let’s get out of here.

He pushes the button of the remote control and in the next instant, the Duck Boat becomes upgraded, revealing a jet engine.

Corrupt Boss: Wha—!!!

Phantom Duck: Bye bye now~~~!!! GOOOOOO!!!!!!

The boat accelerates at breakneck speed. The Phantom Otter and Phantom Duck roaringly disappear into the dark river at night.

♦︎♦︎♦︎

At an aquarium

Three years later. Nitori and Momo work at an aquarium. They give food to the sea otters. While giving the food to the fluffy sea otters, they notice that one particular otter does not eat the food.

Nitori: Ah, Pyunsuke seems like his food is getting taken by the others again.

Momo: Okay, then the Phantom Otter will help Pyunsuke out by giving him food from the other otters!

Nitori: No, you can’t do that Momo-kun! Regardless of this whole “Phantom Thief” thing, we’re supposed to be living a normal life as caretakers of this aquarium. You should be saying “ah, then we’ll just give you some more food” in a normal sentence.

Momo: Haha, I know Nitori-senpai, it was just a joke. I’ve cleansed myself of the Phantom Thief role anyway… Ah that’s right! Today’s pay day! Let’s go to that restaurant today!

Nitori: Okay. But before that we need to give everyone in this aquarium their food ok?

Nitori smiles.

♦︎♦︎♦︎

The two of them continue their work at the aquarium. Momo takes care of the gigantic whale shark while Nitori gives food to the sand sharks. It would seem that their Phantom Thief life never happened.

At a restaurant by the bay

Nitori and Momo finish their work. From the very bustling restaurant comes a busy worker, Gou. Momo’s eyes are shining.

Momo: She’s there!

Nitori and Momo sit down, and Gou comes to take their orders.

Gou: Thank you for coming. What would you like to order?

Nitori: I’ll take the seafood gratin. How about you, Momo-kun?

Momo: Uhhhhhh….I uh…….

Momo tries to show off…

Momo: I’ll take the regular.

Gou puts on a confused face.

Gou: Um…the regular? I’m sorry, what is that exactly?

Momo: The triple cheese hamburger of course!

Gou: Oh uh…is that so? I’m very sorry for the confusion…

Momo: No need to apologise! I’ll just keep on coming here until you remember! My name is Mikoshiba Momotarou! I work as a caretaker at the aquarium. My favourite food is triple cheese hamburgers! My favourite movie is “A Rat’s Tale.” My favourite oden type is the chikuwabu! An island I would really like to visit is the Aleutian Islands!

Gou: Wow, so you’re a caretaker at the aquarium? I just so happened to see the otters not too long ago!

Momo: No freakin’ way! I’m the guy who takes care of the otters! Did you know that in order to not drift away while sleeping, otters hold onto sea kelp while they sleep!???! Gou-san, that’s why…I uh…I…that is…

Momo wavers.

Momo: Please be my sea kelp!

And with that, Momo just proposed to Gou. Unfortunately, right at that moment Gou just so happened to go to the next table to take their orders…

Momo: …wut

Nitori: Haha…

Nitori snickers.

Momo: Hmph…

Momo is crestfallen. Nitori sees Momo’s current state.

Nitori: …….

○ In the city at night

Nitori and Momo leave the restaurant. While passing a street, they notice on the wall that there are signs with a wanted sign portrait drawing of two criminals.

『WANTED Phantom Otter and Duck』

The pictures of the horrible criminals do not look like them at all. Nitori stands to stop and look.

Nitori: Why is this still here? It’s already been three years…

Momo: Yeah, and they totally don’t look like us! I’m way hotter anyway~!

Nitori snickers.

Nitori: Well, if it did look like us, I think we would have been caught by now…

Momo takes a breath.

Momo: Basically, they treat us like ordinary criminals. Probably for the purpose of justice and social reform and what not~

♦︎♦︎♦︎

Flashback

In an ordinary apartment. An older lady returns home to see the wooden Iwatobi statue placed on the window mantlepiece. The older lady’s face brightens up―!

From outside the window, Nitori and Momo watch these scenes unfold. The two smile and are very happy.

♦︎♦︎♦︎

Nitori recalls a time when they were living the Phantom Thief life.

Nitori: Whenever I recall the fact that Momo-kun always wished for the happiness of everyone, I always think that was really wonderful. That’s why I wanted to work with you, Momo-kun!

Momo: Sorry for bringing you into this, Nitori-senpai.

Nitori: …..

Nitori starts thinking. He wears a tight look of determination.

Nitori: Momo, let’s do it one more time.

Momo: What do you mean by that?

Nitori: Let’s steal something!

Momo: What? But…I thought you said that we should cleanse ourselves of that!

Nitori: Well, so far we’ve just stolen things for other people. But, I thought we should do it once more. Let’s steal something for ourselves next time!

Momo: Steal something? Like what?

Nitori: Isn’t it obvious? That girl’s heart!

In an apartment

Nitori and Momo are flatmates in the same apartment. They stand in the living room.

Momo: But…how exactly do you steal a hearT?

Nitori: Fufu, I have a great idea. First, we will give her some kind of notice.

  • swish* Nitori takes out a notice.


『On the night of a full moon, we will steal something very precious to you. Signed the Phantom Duck』

Momo: Something precious to Gou? No you can’t! You can’t steal THAT from her! I will never forgive you if you do, Nitori-senpai!

Nitori: Calm down, Momo-kun. I don’t really mean to steal something from her. What i mean is that I will give her this notice, and that’s when Momo-kun will take on the role of the Master Detective and save her!

Momo: Master Detective…?

Nitori: Yes, so this is how I have it planned out―

♦︎♦︎♦︎

『Nitori’s Imagination』

Nitori’s plan is to give out a warning at night to which Momo will take on the role of Detective Momo and appear in front of Gou and―

Momo: (monotone) No matter what, I will try to protect whatever that is important to you!

Then the Phantom Duck appears!

Nitori: (monotone) Ha…Ha…Ha…! I am the Phantom Duck! Just like the warning said, I will steal something precious of yours!

Momo: (monotone) There he is― the Phantom Duck! I will defeat him!

After saying those words he bravely protects Gou while confronting the Phantom Duck.

Momo: It’s all right now, young miss.

Gou: Right, although the Phantom Duck didn’t steal anything, but…

Momo: But…?

Gou: But I believe my heart has been stolen by you, Great Detective Momo-san!

Momo: Gou-san!

Gou: Great Detective Momo-san!

The two embrace.

♦︎♦︎♦︎

Nitori finishes speaking.

Momo: ……
Nitori: ……

Awkward moment.

Momo: Nitori-senpai…

Nitori: I’m guessing it’s kind of retarded…?

BUT! Momo was so moved by this that he starts trembling.

Momo: THAT IS THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER! I’M SURE WE CAN PULL IT OFF REALLY WELL! YES YES YES!!!

Momo starts rolling on the floor of the living room excitedly. Nitori looks on happily.

At a huge skyscraper at night

Nitori and Momo look up at the penthouse where Gou lives.

Nitori: The warning notice should have arrived by now… Momo-kun, are you ready?

Momo: Yes, I am so ready for this!

Momo is wearing detective-like clothes and nods for the okay.

On the top floor pent house at night

Momo rings the doorbell.

Gou: Coming~

Gou opens the door and appears.

Gou: I’m sorry, who are you?

Momo: It’s me! do you not remember?

Gou: Ah, that’s right! The aquarium err…Kintarou-san?

Momo: It’s Momotarou! And although I did tell you I was a caretaker at the aquarium, in actuality I have another identity, which is…!

Gou: Which is…what…?

Momo: No matter what situation, I can always find a solution! My brain is a stag beetle! My power is a rhinoceros beetle! I am the great detective, Momo!

Momo makes a ridiculous pose.

Gou: ……

Momo: ……

Gou: Um……

Behind Gou comes a man wearing a uniform, who is Rin.

Rin: What’s wrong, Gou?

Momo: Eh?! A policeman?

Gou: Ah, this is my older brother. He works at the police department and came to visit me.

Momo: What? Go…Gou-sa…I mean no…your brother is err…working for the police?!?!

Momo starts behaving suspiciously and Rin glares at him.

Police Rin: Who exactly are you? Great Detective Momo? Never heard of you before…

Momo: Ah…well that’s because uh…I just started this job last month so I’m fairly new to this err…

Momo tries to hurriedly come up with excuses.

♦︎♦︎♦︎

Outside the window

The Phantom Duck stands in a hot air balloon while nervously watching.

Nitori: Ah, c’mon… Momo-kun, what are you doing?!

♦︎♦︎♦︎

Back inside the penthouse

Momo is wearing a small transmitter device in his ear and while freaking out, gets a call from Nitori.

Nitori: (through the transmitter) Momo-kun. I definitely did not expect the police to be here but plase calm down. Just pretend that you’re a detective.

Momo: (in a small voice) Pretend like I’m a detective…?

Nitori: (through the transmitter) Uh…that’s right! come up with some kind of reasoning thing, like detectives do!

Momo: But I don’t know what that even means…being like a detective…

Police Rin: What the hell are you doing freaking out over there?

Momo starts to panic.

Momo: Uh…well…you see…err…I was trying to come up with a very reasonable deduction.

Momo does a little pose and while doing this, starts talking to Rin.

Momo: Yesterday, in the Jewelry Store on 3rd street you busted a huge robbery, didn’t you? Fufufu…what? That’s so easy to deduce. It’s because I read the newspaper this morning!

Police Rin: Uh, no that’s not a good deduction at all. And besides, the guy who arrested the burglar was Sousuke. Man, you’re not a very good detective, are you?

Momo: Wait…no…I swear that’s not right~ aha ha ha………

Momo receives another transmission from Nitori.

Nitori: (through the transmitter) Momo-kun, even though we’re a bit ahead of schedule as written on the warning notice, we gotta go!

Momo: Ro…roger!

After saying that, Gou becomes a bit worried.

Gou: If that becomes stolen, how would I ever live? Aah!

Police Rin: Gou, get a hold of yourself! Tell me everything. So the Phantom Duck sent you a notice, saying that he was going to what exactly again with your most precious thing?

Gou: Well, it’s my collection of Muscle paraphernalia but…

Police Rin: ……

After talking a bit, BAM the window opens and the Phantom Duck pops in.

Phantom Duck: Muahahaha! Just ask the warning specified, even though it’s a bit early, BUT I HAVE COME TO TAKE AWAY YOUR PRECIOUS THING!

Gou: Oh no―!!!

Police Rin: THE PHANTOM DUCK!

Momo jumps in to protect Gou.

Momo: Please leave it to me!

Phantom Duck: Detective Momo! Damn you, you’re in the way!

Momo: I will protect Gou-san’s precious thing!

The Phantom Duck heads towards Momo. The two start struggling with each other.

Phantom Duck: (in a small voice): Try to use more of your strength! I’m fine here.

Momo: (small voice) But senpai!

Nitori: (small voice) Hurry up! Just get out of here!

Momo: (small voice) I’m sorry, senpai. All right let’s do this!

Momo breaks free from the Phantom Duck

Phantom Duck: Uwaaa~!!!

The Phantom Duck kind of purposely slams against the wall. He dazedly gazes up.

Phantom Duck: Ughhh…Detective Momo! I won’t forget your face!

With that, the Phantom Duck jumps out of the window and mounts the hot air balloon, fleeing from the scene.

Police Rin: Shit, he got away again!

Rin runs out of the penthouse. Momo and Gou are left alone. Momo rushes to Gou’s side.

Momo: Are you all right, Gou-san? Fear not, for the Great Detective Momota will defeat the Phantom Duck!

Momo looks at Gou intently.

Gou: Tha…thank you very much.

For some reason this is all going according to plan. Momo thinks that the surrounding air around them calls for a―!

Phantom Duck: Uwaaa?!?!!

Outside the window, Nitori’s cries can be heard across the building.

Momo: Eh?

He rushes to the windowsill and when he looks up, hears the sound of a helicopter on the top of the building. It seems that Nitori’s hot air balloon has been surrounded by the police!

Momo: !!!

♦︎♦︎♦︎

The Phantom Duck’s hot air balloon heads for the top of the building and crashes.

Phantom Duck: Uwaahhhh!?!?

The police helicopter makes for the top of the building as well. They surround the Phantom Duck.

♦︎♦︎♦︎

Momo looks out from the window.

Momo: ……

If Momo were to protect Gou like this, everything would go according to plan and there will be a happy ending, but Nitori will be captured…

Momo: (to himself) What are you unsure of? This is so not like me!

Momo makes a decision.

Momo: Nitori-senpai, I’m coming for you!

Gou: Eh??

Momo takes off his detective clothes and underneath are the clothes of the Phantom Sea Otter!

Gou: You are…!!!

Momo: I’m sorry, Gou-san. I am sorry for deceiving you. I have to leave to save my senpai. But I promise to one day return to you again and hopefully steal your heart away!

As he says that, he jumps out of the window and becomes the Phantom Thief, Momotarou! (pose) and does a Vasallo Kick (t/n this is actually a swimming move) and leaps off the window sill. He is suspended in midair but at the same time, he whips out a hang glider from underneath his cloak and spreads its wings.

○ At the skyscraper at night

The Phantom Otter flies underneath a full moon. He approaches the top of the building.

At the top of the building at night

The police have the Phantom Duck surrounded, but the Phantom Otter rushes to his side.

Phantom Duck: Momo-kun! Why did you come? Our plan was going so well too!

Phantom Otter: What are you saying? If we were to go with the plan, Nitori-senpai would be captured! I’m not about to stand by and let that happen!

Phantom Duck: Momo-kun…

The police have the two surrounded, but the Phantom Otter does not falter and instead smiles.

Phantom Otter: Is the person who you want to capture the Golden Phantom Thief? Or is it the Silver Phantom Thief?

Police Rin: We don’t want gold or silver. What we want are the real Phantom Otter and Phantom Duck!

Phantom Otter: Yes! That’s the right answer! *BOOM*

A blinding light and smoke surrounds the entire area. The police force flinches and when they come to, they see an image of a Gold Phantom Otter and a Silver Phantom Duck.

Police Rin: What the hell is this?

But the real Phantom Otter and Duck are nowhere to be seen―!!!

On top of a skyscraper at night

The night spreads throughout the city. Momo carries Nitori while manoeuvring his hang glider, underneath the full moon.

Nitori: Momo-kun…thank you!

Momo: Hehe, no thank you too! Well then, hold on tightly, Nitori-senpai! Here we go~

He leaps off the skyscraper and the wind takes the two away.

In the dorm room at Samezuka

Momo: ― and that was my dream, Nitori-senpai!

Momo talks excitedly. Nitori is amazed.

Nitori: I don’t really know where to even start. Well, I guess it was a very Momo-kun-like dream, huh? But it doesn’t seem very you to save me instead of saving Gou-san…

Momo: Ya think so?

Nitori: Eh?

Momo: Well as for me, if my important senpai is in a pinch, I would definitely go to save him instead!

Nitori: ……

Momo: What’s wrong?

Nitori: Momo-kun…

Momo: ??

Nitori: I wonder why you’re not more popular huh…

Momo: *bang* WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?!

You’re such a meanie~!!! cries Momo and Nitori smiles.

Nitori: (to himself) Thank you, Momo-kun.

Momo: Ah, that’s right! I remembered something good from the dream.

Nitori: Eh?

Momo: Let’s try doing that, the two of us! Well it’s kinda impossible to do that whole Phantom Thief gig, but like for example, Nitori-senpai can hold a rhinoceros beetle and then approach Gou-san. Then, I’ll hold a stag beetle and then go and try to save―

Nitori: Momo-kun, I have no idea what you are talking about!

The two of them look like they’re having fun.

Fin

~~~

* Translator’s Notes: Vassallo is a type of kick that you do in swimming to propel yourself.[1]

References

  1. Translation by aitaikimochi on Tumblr.