Kyoufu no Goukon

 (恐怖の合コン) is the twelfth track of the drama CD Extra Short Films. It was released on December 12, 2018.

Translation
Asahi： Wow! Just what I’d expect from Tokyo, It’s still so lively this late at night. Kisumi： It’s like a metropolis where love and desire join together in a whirlwind, isn’t it? Makoto： Hey…do we really have to go? Asahi： A little late to say that now, isn’t it? Makoto： But it’s my first time going to a mixer. I’m a little nervous. Haruka： There’s a first time for everything. Kisumi： Oh, you’re unexpectedly enthusiastic about it, Haru. That’s great! Haruka： I’m not. The venue is a mackerel speciality restaurant, so I’m looking forward to it, that’s all. Asahi： Oh, here we are! This must be the place. Big-Catch Mackerel Indulgence, Tokyo flagship bar restaurant. Kisumi： By the way, the girls we’re meeting are all swimmers, so I think you guys will have a lot in common to talk about! Asahi： Seriously!? Staff：Welcome! Kisumi： I’m Shigino Kisumi who made the reservation. Host：Certainly, Mr. Shigino. Your guests have already arrived. This way please. Kisumi： Thank you for waiting! Sorry we’re late! Momo/Momoko： Geez Kisumi, you’re sooooo late! Ai/Aiko： We’re gonna punish you! Momo/Momoko： Oooh, punishment! You can leave it to me! <font color=>Makoto： HUH? W-wait a sec…these girls… <font color=>Asahi： Hey, they’re pretty cute, aren’t they? <font color=>Kisumi： Right? Right? <font color=>Haruka： It’s called Mackerel Indulgence, but the appetizer is not mackerel. <font color=>Makoto： That’s not the point here! <font color=>Seijuro/Seiko： Well then, I’ll start by introducing myself! I’m Mikoshiba Seiko! My most attractive feature is my smile! <font color=>Momo/Momoko： I’m Mikoshiba Momoko! I’m Seiko’s younger sister by three years, and my hobby is stag beetle hunting! Nice to meet you all! <font color=>Ai/Aiko： I’m Nitori Aiko. My hobby is a S-E-C-R-E-T. <font color=>Makoto： Hey, there’s something really wrong about this! Why are you guys fitting in so well? <font color=>Kisumi： It’s our turn next! <font color=>Haruka： I’m Nanase Haruka. I only swim free. <font color=>Asahi： I’m Shiina Asahi. I swim anything. <font color=>Kisumi： C'mon, Makoto, introduce yourself. <font color=>Makoto： Eh? B-but… <font color=>Haruka： Don’t be shy, Makoto. Come on, hurry up. <font color=>Makoto： Umm… I’m Tachibana Makoto. I’m from Iwatobi Town. <font color=>Kisumi： And I’m your host today, Shigino Kisumi! You can call me “Kiss Me”! <font color=>Seijuro/Seiko： Oooh, he said “kiss me”! <font color=>Momo/Momoko： What a letch! <font color=>Ai/Aiko： So sketch, it’s not a stretch! (T/N: A pun allegedly derived from “etch-a-sketch” that’s used to tease people for being “ecchi” = a pervert) <font color=>Asahi： Anyway, let’s all make a toast. <font color=>Haruka： Does everyone have a glass? Girls：Yes, we do! <font color=>Seijuro/Seiko： Ah, I’ll have the non-alcoholic Cassis Orange. <font color=>Ai/Aiko： Hey, Seiko! Why are you acting all innocent and cute? <font color=>Seijuro/Seiko： That’s because I just finished swimming 1500m in 20 minutes! <font color=>Asahi： Huh, for real, seriously? You were at a swimming pool just now? <font color=>Seijuro/Seiko： Nope! The Sea of Japan! <font color=>Ai/Aiko： Whaat? Seiko, didn’t you tell me it was the Sea of Okhotsk? Eeeeek, stop pretending to be a humble Yamato nadeshiko! (T/N: Yamato nadeshiko is the personification of an idealized Japanese woman with a deep and abiding modesty) <font color=>Kisumi： Anyway, c'mon everyone, let’s cheers! All：Cheers! <font color=>Seijuro/Seiko： Hey Tachibana-kun, what’s the matter? You’re so quiet. You gotta be in the hustle and bustle! <font color=>Makoto： No…I’m… <font color=>Asahi： Yeah, Makoto’s always kinda like this But he’s normally nice to girls and children. <font color=>Makoto： Hey, Asahi! <font color=>Haruka： Don’t be shy, Makoto. <font color=>Makoto： No, that’s not what I’m trying to say. Isn’t this situation a bit weird? I mean, they’re Mikoshiba-senpai, Momotaro-kun, and Nitori-kun, right? <font color=>Ai/Aiko： How amazing! I knew it, I’m so happy! Tachibana-kun remembers our names already! <font color=>Momo/Momoko： Eh~! You’re so mean! My name is Momoko, who did you call Momotaro? I’m not a boy! <font color=>Makoto： Ah… I-I’m sorry. <font color=>Momo/Momoko： Geez, I won’t forgive you! Huff puff! <font color=>Haruka： Speaking of which, there are four of us guys, but only three girls? <font color=>Kisumi： Oh, you’re right. Is the last person not coming? <font color=>Seijuro/Seiko： Rinko said she’d be a little late. Apparently her flight was delayed. <font color=>Asahi： She’s flying in? <font color=>Ai/Aiko： Yup! She’s a Japanese returnee from Sydney. <font color=>Makoto： Rinko? Could it be… <font color=>Momo/Momoko： Oh my, you know her? <font color=>Makoto： Er, she reminds me of a friend of mine… <font color=>Seijuro/Seiko： Oh geez, Tachibana-kun, there’s more to you than meets the eye! <font color=>Haruka： What’s she like? <font color=>Ai/Aiko： Oh my, Nanase-kun, you have a crush on Rinko? <font color=>Momo/Momoko： Her teeth are kinda sharp, but she’s very pretty! <font color=>Seijuro/Seiko： Gosh, I’m so jealous! I’ll not let her have Nanase-kun! <font color=>Momo/Momoko： Ehh, Seiko, you have your eyes on Nanase-kun? <font color=>Asahi： The way to Haru’s heart is through mackerel dishes! <font color=>Seijuro/Seiko： In that case, I’ll give you my mackerel sushi! Here, eat this, Say ahh! <font color=>Haruka： A-ahh. <font color=>Makoto： Wait, Haru, you’re actually saying ahh!? <font color=>Ai/Aiko： C'mon Tachibana-kun, it’s your turn. This vinegared mackerel over here! Say Ahh. Ahhh! <font color=>Makoto： Eeh!? <font color=>Asahi： Hey, feed me, too! <font color=>Momo/Momoko： Well, let’s do it together! Ready, set! Boys：Ahhh! <font color=>Makoto： A…aah. Staff: Your guest has arrived. <font color=>Asahi： Oh, Rinko-chan’s here? <font color=>Kisumi： We’ve been waiting for you, Rinko-chan! <font color=>Rin： Hey, sorry I’m late. <font color=>Seijuro： You’re late, Matsuoka! <font color=>Ai： We’ve already started. <font color=>Momo： We just got to the fun part of the night! <font color=>Makoto： Eh? Ehh? EHH!? <font color=>Rin： I’m Matsuoka Rin. I have a girly name, but I’m a guy. I came back from Sydney, where I was training abroad as a swimmer. <font color=>Asahi/Asako： Holy moly, you’re so cool, Matsuoka-kun! <font color=>Makoto： What!? H-hey, wait…Asahi! <font color=>Haruka/Haruko： As one would expect from someone back from Sydney, you sure have amazing muscles. <font color=>Makoto： Haru, you too!? <font color=>Ai： Rin-senpai, what would you like to drink? <font color=>Rin： Hmm…I’ll start with a cola. <font color=>Kisumi： C'mon, what are you all waiting for, start introducing yourselves! <font color=>Haruka/Haruko： I’m Nanase Haruko. I don’t have a boyfriend right now. I’m free. <font color=>Asahi/Asako： I’m Shiina Asako. My most attractive feature is my energetic smile! Sparkle! <font color=>Kisumi： Come on Mako, introduce yourself properly, too! <font color=>Makoto： No…but I’m… <font color=>Makoto： Ugggghhhh…Hmmm…ghhhhh <font color=>Shizuru： Makoto-senpai is having a nightmare. <font color=>Romio： I wonder what he’s dreaming about? <font color=>Makoto： Haru… we gotta escape… we can’t stay here… <font color=>Shizuru： Chappy-senpai is in the dream. <font color=>Makoto： Wait…not you too Rin, what are you doing? No more “Ahh”… <font color=>Romio： Maybe we should wake him up? <font color=>Shizuru： This sounds amusing, so let’s keep listening. <font color=>Makoto： Ahhh!