Haruka VS Rin Kani Matsuri Choujou Kessen

 (遙VS凜　カニ祭り頂上決戦 Haruka VS Rin, the Crab Festival’s Peak Playoff) is the seventh track of the drama CD Iwatobi Kōkō Suiei-bu Katsudō Nisshi 2. It was released on September 25, 2013.

Translation
Makoto ：“Haruka VS Rin, The Crab Festival’s Peak Playoff!”

Rei ：What kind of festival is it this time? Haruka ：The crab festival. Rei ：First it’s squid, now it’s crab? Makoto ：Yep! In Iwatobi, we hold a grand squid festival in early summer and a grand crab festival in autumn every year. Rei ：They sound like very high-class festivals… Nagisa ：Where should we start eating first? Crab croquettes? Or maybe crab miso-flavored yakisoba noodles, crab soup, or crab sticks? Rin ：Hey, Haru. The rest of you guys are here, too. Haruka ：Rin! Nagisa ：You’re here too, Rin-chan! And the person next to you is… let me think… Nitori ：I’m Nitori Ai’ichirou. Nagisa ：Nice to meet you, Ai-chan! Nitori ：A–Ai-chan?! Haruka ：Have you come here to pray for your victory again? Rin ：Not that I need god’s help, really. I can win on my own abilities. Come to think of it, I remember how I won the prefecturals and how you were no match for me, Haru. Haruka ：There wasn’t much difference between us in that match. Heh. If you’re going to brag over something tiny like that, then you’ve become a tiny man, Rin. <font color=>Rin ：What?! <font color=>Nitori ：Wait, Rin-senpai! Not here! <font color=>Rin ：He’s picked a fight with me, there’s no way I’m not taking it! Fight me, Haru! <font color=>Haruka ：Fine! We’ll settle the score on our freestyle match! <font color=>Nagisa ：Yeah! I wanna see your fight! <font color=>Rei ：Don’t encourage them, Nagisa-kun! <font color=>Makoto ：Yeah, you two! Don’t fight here! <font color=>Haruka ：It has to happen sooner or later. <font color=>Rin ：Hah! I’ll end it in the blink of an eye. <font color=>Haruka ：You sound pretty confident. <font color=>Rin ：How about whoever jumps in here, touches that crab fishing boat parked on that harbor and gets back first, wins? <font color=>Haruka ：Sounds interesting. Let’s do this, Rin! <font color=>Rin ：Fight me, Haru! [''Haruka and Rin hurriedly take their clothes off] <font color=>Makoto ：Whoa… Their speed at taking off their belts isn’t ordinary! <font color=>Rei ：Wait, they’re both wearing swimsuits underneath their clothes!!! <font color=>Nagisa ：Allow me to explain! On days when Haru-chan feels the water, he prepares by wearing a swimsuit underneath his clothes! <font color=>Rei ：Is that the same for Rin-san as well? <font color=>Makoto ：No! Rin wore his because he had a feeling he’d be versing Haru today! …I think. <font color=>Rei ：You think?! <font color=>Nitori ：Well, let’s begin! Ready… go! [Haruka and Rin swim back and forth] <font color=>Nagisa ：You’re both so fast! <font color=>Makoto ：Who was faster?! <font color=>Rei ：They both arrived at the same time! <font color=>Rin ：Haru and I, the same?! <font color=>Haruka ：It’s a tie?! <font color=>Rin ：Not a chance! <font color=>Nitori ：Wait. It’s true that both of them arrived at the same time, but… <font color=>Makoto ：But? <font color=>Nitori ：When it comes to the speed at which they undressed, Rin-senpai was faster. <font color=>Haruka ：! <font color=>Rin ：Hehe. Well, I don’t lose to anyone when it comes to being the fastest at undressing. <font color=>Nagisa ：Nothing less from Rin-chan! <font color=>Makoto ：That has nothing to do with swimming! <font color=>Rei ：Even if it did, there’s no way we can determine who was faster when we didn’t even keep track of time! <font color=>Nitori ：No, we can. I’ve been recording the whole thing. <font color=>Makoto ：Since when?! <font color=>Nitori ：Watch this. I’ll rewind it.

<font color=>Rin ：How about whoever jumps in here, touches that crab fishing boat parked on that harbor and gets back first, wins? ''<font color=>Haruka ：Sounds interesting. Let’s do this, Rin!'' <font color=>Rin ：Fight me, Haru! [Haruka and Rin hurriedly take their clothes off]

<font color=>Nitori ：See that? <font color=>Makoto ：You’re right… <font color=>Nagisa ：Rin-chan was faster… <font color=>Rin ：Hehehe. Take that, Haru. <font color=>Haruka ：… [glares] <font color=>Nagisa ：At this rate, Rin-chan will win… <font color=>Haruka ：One more time, Rin! <font color=>Rin ：Fine by me, Haru. But the result will be the same no matter what you do. <font color=>Haruka ：Let’s do this, Rin! <font color=>Rin ：Fight me, Haru! [Haruka and Rin hurriedly take their clothes off] <font color=>Makoto ：Whoa… They’re so fast, I can’t even see their hands taking off their belts… <font color=>Rin ：Take that! <font color=>Nagisa ：Haru-chan wins this time! <font color=>Rei ：It was an undressing contest?! <font color=>Nitori ：Now it’s one win, one loss, one draw each… <font color=>Rei ：No, wait, the speed at which you undress has nothing to do with anything! <font color=>Rin ：One more time, Haru! <font color=>Haruka ：What do we fight with this time? <font color=>Rin ：We’ve reached the height of the festival. How about some target practice? <font color=>Haruka ：Okay! <font color=>Rei ：You’re okay with that?! <font color=>Makoto ：This is solid FREE! <font color=>Nagisa ：Haru-chan, you can do it!

<font color=>Nitori ：Whoever gets the biggest prize wins! <font color=>Rin ：I’m going first. <font color=>Makoto ：Rin’s stance… and his eyes locking onto his prey… He’s like an assassin aiming for his target! [Rin shoots] <font color=>Nagisa ：Wow, Rin-chan! You took down the life-sized Iwatobi-chan! <font color=>Rin ：Heh! That’s about right. <font color=>Haruka ：Give me that. I’m next. <font color=>Makoto ：Haru isn’t giving in either! If Rin is an assassin, then Haru is a C.I.A agent protecting the target from him! [Haruka shoots] <font color=>Nagisa ：He took down the Iwatobi-chan costume set! <font color=>Makoto ：Not bad, Haru! <font color=>Rei ：Who wins in this case? It’s a life-sized Iwatobi-chan against a Iwatobi-chan costume set… <font color=>Nitori ：They’re both rare items. <font color=>Nagisa ：So it’s a tie. <font color=>Rin ：Damn it! Next match! <font color=>Haruka ：Let’s go with what you’re best at. <font color=>Rin ：You’ve got guts. In that case… we’ll fight with those. <font color=>Haruka ：!! The Crab-catching Hell?! <font color=>Rei ：Crab-catching Hell? <font color=>Nagisa ：It’s the crab version of Squid-grabbing Heaven. Unlike squid though, crabs have claws so if they manage to get you, you feel hellish pain… <font color=>Rei ：That is so scary!! <font color=>Nitori ：They’re holding it over there! Let’s go!

<font color=>Rei ：This is… the Crab-catching Hell… Men in fundoshi are grabbing live crabs… It is indeed pure hell… <font color=>Gou ：Oh, you’re here, Brother! Haruka-senpai and the others, too! <font color=>Nagisa ：You’re here again, Gou-chan? <font color=>Gou ：Are you participating too? <font color=>Rin ：Yeah. I’m fighting with Haru to see who gets the most. <font color=>Rei ：Don’t the rules ban underaged people like us from participating? <font color=>Gou ：We can’t participate with squid, but crabs are okay! Since they’re not slimy! <font color=>Rei ：That’s their criteria?! <font color=>Haruka ：Let’s go, Rin! <font color=>Rin ：I won’t lose! [Haruka and Rin grab crabs while shouting "Crab crab crab crab!"] <font color=>Nagisa ：You can do it, Haru-chan! <font color=>Nitori ：Rin-senpai! <font color=>Makoto ：Haru grabbed the first one! <font color=>Nitori ：Rin-senpai has grabbed two at the same time! <font color=>Makoto ：But Haru’s crab is slightly bigger! <font color=>Nitori ：But Rin-senpai’s crabs have better color! <font color=>Makoto ：Haru isn’t giving in either! He’s grabbed one with huge claws in successive blows! <font color=>Nagisa ：Don’t lose, Haru-chan! <font color=>Nitori ：Ah! Rin-senpai! Look out! [Rin screams] <font color=>Rei ：Haruka-senpai is going for the big one while Rin-san’s fingers are caught in the crab’s claws! <font color=>Nitori ：No, Rin-senpai isn’t giving in! Even though his fingers are caught, he’s moving with such force…! <font color=>Gou ：The intense collaboration between throbbing muscles and crabs! Amazing! This is so amazing! [Haruka and Rin both scream] <font color=>Rin ：Ow!

[Haruka and Rin breathe heavily] <font color=>Makoto ：[whispers] Who won? <font color=>Rei ：Haruka-senpai… caught 14! <font color=>Nitori ：Rin-senpai has also… caught 14! <font color=>Nagisa ：Another tie?! <font color=>Rin ：Damn it! One more match! <font color=>Nitori ：What this time? <font color=>Rin ：This time…

<font color=>Rin ：It’s fortune slips! <font color=>Haruka ：Hmph! So whoever gets the better fortune wins! [Haruka and Rin fight aggressively with their fortunes] <font color=>Rin ：Middle luck. The object you’ve lost is hard to find. <font color=>Haruka ：Half luck. The person you are waiting for comes, but they are late. <font color=>Gou ：They’re both neither here nor there… <font color=>Rei ：Which is better anyway, middle luck or half luck? <font color=>All ：Hmm… <font color=>Rin ：All right then! The next match! <font color=>Haruka ：I’ll go as far as it takes me! <font color=>Rei ：Maybe we should be getting back home now, yes? <font color=>Makoto ：Yeah. <font color=>Gou ：It’s starting to get more and more stupider… <font color=>Nagisa ：Text us to tell us how it ended, okay, Ai-chan? <font color=>Nitori ：I told you, I’m not Ai-chan! <font color=>Rin ：Haru! Next we’ll see who eats crab sticks the fastest! <font color=>Haruka ：I accept your challenge!