Samezuka Gakuen Bunkasai ～Dentou no Meido Kissa～

Samezuka Academy’s Culture Festival – The Traditional Maid Cafe (From Hell) (鮫柄学園文化祭 伝統の冥土喫茶) is the seventh track of the drama cd Iwatobi High School Swim Club's Activity Log 1. It was released on August 21, 2013.

Translation
Nitori ：“Samezuka Academy’s Culture Festival – The Traditional Maid Cafe (From Hell)”

[''Samezuka Academy pool. Mikoshiba blows a whistle''] Mikoshiba ：Gather up, guys! As you all know, we’ll be holding our culture festival soon. And, as tradition demands of us every year, our swim club will be participating! Rin ：Are we going to do a performance or work a food cart? Nitori ：Matsuoka-senpai, don’t you know about Samezuka swim club’s traditional program? Rin ：Hm? What do you mean, Nitori?

Rin ：NO! Nitori ：Matsuoka-senpai! I don’t want to do this either, but we have to! Hurry up and change! Rin ：I said, no! Why is our traditional program a maid cafe?! Nitori ：You have a pretty face so I’m sure you’ll look good wearing a maid outfit! Rin ：That doesn’t make me happy! Like hell I’m gonna wear this frilly thing! Nitori ：But it’s a rule that’s been passed down generations through the swim club. We have no choice. Rin ：I want to ram my fist into the face of the alumni who first thought of it. Nitori ：All club members are forced to participate in this maid cafe. If you refuse to participate, then it’s custom that you quit the club. It’s no use resisting. Rin ：I quit. Nitori ：[grabs Rin trying to leave] Senpai! Please don’t say that! Rin ：Nitori, let me go! <font color=>Nitori ：J-Just the morning then! Just the morning, please, Senpai! <font color=>Rin ：Let me go! <font color=>Nitori ：Do you really want to quit the club over something– over something incredibly dumb like this? You’re going to the Olympics, aren’t you? <font color=>Rin ：!

<font color=>Rin ：Fine. Just the morning… Got that?! <font color=>Nitori ：^_^!

— <font color=>Rin ：Damn it… why do I have to wear this… <font color=>Nitori ：Now, now, Senpai! <font color=>Mikoshiba ：Hey, Matsuoka! That maid outfit looks good on you! <font color=>Rin ：That doesn’t make me happy! Why are you dressed as a butler, Captain Mikoshiba?! What happened to crossdressing?! Isn’t it a tradition?! <font color=>Mikoshiba ：The tradition is that third-years are butlers while the first and second-years are maids. <font color=>Rin ：Tch! <font color=>Mikoshiba ：Nitori, you have a small frame so it looks good on you too. <font color=>Nitori ：What are you talking about? There’s someone here who looks more wonderful than I do. <font color=>Mikoshiba ：I know, I know. Matsuoka dressed as a maid is like Mount Everest-level of super, right? <font color=>Nitori ：As long as you know that. <font color=>Rin ：Nitori, keep your mouth shut. <font color=>Nitori ：Senpai, you have a pretty face and the length of your hair matches the white headdress. <font color=>Rin ：Nitori… <font color=>Nitori ：This maid outfit has leg of mutton sleeves, so it hides well your arm muscles and shoulders that you’ve trained through swimming. <font color=>Rin ：Shut up… <font color=>Nitori ：Your legs that I can glimpse through your petticoat are so tight and wonderful! <font color=>Rin ：SHUT UP, NITORI. MIKOSHIBA: Nitori… you’re very knowledgeable on this stuff. <font color=>Nitori ：Yes! I read up on it yesterday so that I can have an answer ready whenever my Senpai ask. <font color=>Rin ：Don’t make use of a weird talent! <font color=>Nitori ：Matsuoka…senpai… <font color=>Rin ：W-W-W-What? <font color=>Nitori ：[pulls out his phone] Can I take a picture? [Rin lunges] <font color=>Nitori ：Ow ow ow ow ow! <font color=>Rin ：I am using the Iron Claw on you right now. <font color=>Nitori ：Se-Senpai… my head… my head… you’re crushing my head… <font color=>Rin ：I am using the Iron Claw on you right now. <font color=>Nitori ：Senpai, are you a tsundere maid?! <font color=>Mikoshiba ：Oh, come to think of it… I spotted Gou-kun earlier. <font color=>Rin ：HUUHHHH?! I didn’t tell her about the festival! <font color=>Nitori ：Senpai, senpai. Look. <font color=>Rin ：What, Nitori? What’s there to look about the festival poster? <font color=>Nitori ：That poster advertising our school festival was distributed throughout the whole town. <font color=>Rin ：Eh?! …You… <font color=>Nitori ：Senpai? Are you okay? <font color=>Rin ：SHUT UP. <font color=>Mikoshiba ：Oh, speak of the devil! There’s Gou-kun now! <font color=>Gou ：Brother! <font color=>Rin ：Geh… <font color=>Gou ：[runs up] I came here to v– Brother… your outfit… <font color=>Rin ：…! <font color=>Gou ：You look so pretty! <font color=>Nitori ：Doesn’t he?! <font color=>Rin ：Eh? <font color=>Gou ：Even in your maid outfit, I can tell you have huge pecs! <font color=>Nitori ：As expected from the little sister! <font color=>Mikoshiba ：Hey there, Gou-kun. I’m getting my break in just a minute, so why don’t you and I circle the festi– <font color=>Rin ：Gou! Wait for me ten more minutes. Since you’re here, I’ll take you around the place. <font color=>Gou ：…! Okay! <font color=>Mikoshiba ：–together for dinner… Huh? <font color=>Nitori ：[pats Mikoshiba on the shoulder] Captain Mikoshiba… don’t mind.