Moshi Kareshi ni Surunara？ ～Iwatobi-hen～

Moshi Kareshi ni Surunara？ ～Iwatobi-hen～ (もし彼氏にするなら？ ～岩鳶編～ If He Was Your Boyfriend – Iwatobi Side) is the third track of the drama CD Iwatobi Kōkō Suiei-bu Katsudō Nisshi 1. It was released on August 21, 2013.

Translation
Nagisa ：“If He Was Your Boyfriend – Iwatobi Side.”

[Rei opens his boxed lunch] Nagisa ：Eh? Did you make that lunch yourself, Rei-chan? Rei ：Yes. Nagisa ：This fried chicken too? This boiled spinach doused with bonito flakes and soy sauce too? Rei ：That’s right. Makoto ：Wow, that’s amazing, Rei. Haru makes his own lunch too. Haruka ：Yeah… Makoto ：He’s absorbed in his own lunch of mackerel… Nagisa ：Then, Rei-chan, does that mean you’ve made all of your lunches that I’ve seen before? Rei ：Of course. It’s easier for me to control my daily nutrients that way. Nagisa-kun, why don’t you learn to cook something rather than eat bread all the time? These days, a man who cooks is popular. Nagisa ：Is that so? Hmm, but I like eating “rock” and “hopping” bread, so it’s okay! Makoto ：Rock… Haruka ：Hopping bread?[1] Rei ：What sort of bread is that? The name just killed my appetite. Nagisa ：It’s bread with strawberry jam, marmalade, and chocolate on top and only worth the cheap price of 480 yen! Rei ：What’s cheap about it?! That’s expensive!! <font color=>Haruka ：Just hearing that gave me a toothache… <font color=>Nagisa ：Eh, but it’s really tasty! Here, Haru-chan, have a bite. <font color=>Haruka ：No, I don’t want to. <font color=>Nagisa ：Now, now, don’t say that. Here, aah. [Nagisa shoves his bread into Haru's mouth] <font color=>Haruka ：[coughs] T-Too sweet! <font color=>Makoto ：Hey, stop that, Nagisa! Water! Rei, bring water! <font color=>Nagisa ：Eh, why? <font color=>Rei ：Makoto-senpai, here. Water. <font color=>Makoto ：Rei, thanks. Here, Haru. Drink this. [Haruka drinks and coughs] <font color=>Makoto ：Are you okay, Haru? <font color=>Nagisa ：Ehh… [bites] But it tastes so good… <font color=>Rei ：Nagisa-kun… No matter how I see it, that bread is nutritionally unbalanced. <font color=>Nagisa ：Is it? I never really thought about healthy eating, but maybe I should start? <font color=>Makoto ：Well, it may be better to know how to cook than to not know at all. <font color=>Haruka ：Nagisa, I can teach you how to cook mackerel. <font color=>Nagisa ：Really?! <font color=>Rei ：Mackerel is a very exceptional food that contains many nutrients. Its health benefits include immunity from lifestyle diseases, antioxidants, and is good for the skin. It’s even said to be very effective for brain development. <font color=>Makoto ：Wow. <font color=>Rei ：Makoto-senpai, I think that your lunch is also very well-balanced. It contains enough calories to support your physique. <font color=>Makoto ：Oh, I see. My mom makes lunch for me every day, so I don’t know the first thing about nutrition… <font color=>Nagisa ：Haru-chan and Rei-chan make their own lunches, and Mako-chan’s mom makes his lunch, huh… Oh! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! <font color=>Makoto ：Nagisa? Why are you raising your hand? <font color=>Nagisa ：Let’s say if each of us was a girl and we were to go out with someone in this group, who would you pick? <font color=>Makoto ：Huh? <font color=>Haruka ：Why did the topic suddenly turn to that? <font color=>Rei ：I have absolutely no idea. <font color=>Nagisa ：It’s a hypothetical question! <font color=>Makoto ：Why did talking about lunches turn to talking about dating? <font color=>Nagisa ：Because Rei-chan said [imitates Rei] ‘A man who cooks is popular.’ So I was wondering, if we were girls, who would we pick? <font color=>Rei ：That wasn’t an imitation of me, was it? <font color=>Nagisa ：I sounded just like you, didn’t I? <font color=>Rei ：No. <font color=>Nagisa ：[imitates Rei] No. <font color=>Makoto ：Pfft! <font color=>Nagisa ：I would pick… hmm… I wonder… Not Rei-chan. You seem to get too hung up by details. <font color=>Rei ：What are you saying, Nagisa-kun? You’ll find no partner more perfect than I am. <font color=>Nagisa ：Eh? Really? But Rei-chan, you’ll definitely be a huge nagger. Always telling me not to spill things or to tuck my shirt in, and stuff. <font color=>Rei ：Me, a nagger? Listen. I have confidence in my memory, so I would never forget special days like birthdays. I can cook, and manage my time so I would never be late for a date. I would research beforehand the places we’d go, and even research the best path to take to the restaurant where I’ve already put in a reservation, so I would be the perfect escort for my date from start to finish. I would make a date enjoyable, leaving nothing to be desired. <font color=>Makoto ：H-Haru… did you just think that Rei sounded like an infomercial? <font color=>Haruka ：How could you tell? <font color=>Makoto ：[laughs] Because I thought so too. <font color=>Nagisa ：Then, Rei-chan, who would you want to go out with among the guys here? <font color=>Rei ：Myself, of course. [pause] <font color=>Nagisa ：That’s… um… That’s very sad. <font color=>Haruka ：Really sad. <font color=>Makoto ：Don’t say that. That’s who Rei is. <font color=>Rei ：Makoto-senpai… you’re not helping… <font color=>Nagisa ：Then what about you, Mako-chan? Who would you go out with? <font color=>Makoto ：Me? Well, let me see… hmm… I’ve been with Haru since we were kids, so I feel relaxed around him, and Nagisa is a cheerful person, so I have fun being around him, and Rei is upright, so I feel like I can expect him to take really good care of me… You all have your good points. Hmm… I can’t choose. [All three sigh] <font color=>Makoto ：Eh? Huh? What’s wrong, guys? <font color=>Nagisa ：Um… what do we call that kind of attitude again? <font color=>Makoto ：Eh? <font color=>Haruka ：Wishy-washy. <font color=>Makoto ：Ehh?! <font color=>Rei ：Makoto-senpai… You’re going to be in trouble one day… <font color=>Makoto ：Wha– why?! <font color=>Haruka ：Being too nice brings the worst results. <font color=>Makoto ：Not you too, Haru! <font color=>Nagisa ：Then what about you, Haru-chan? Who would you choose? <font color=>Haruka ：…Makoto. <font color=>Makoto ：Me?! <font color=>Haruka ：It just seems easiest. <font color=>Rei ：That’s your reason? <font color=>Nagisa ：Ehh, you picked Mako-chan? <font color=>Rei ：Well, Makoto-senpai is kind and he seems likely to treat the person he dates with respect. <font color=>Nagisa ：Hey, Haru-chan! If I was your boyfriend, I’ll cook mackerel for you for breakfast every morning! <font color=>Haruka ：I choose Nagisa. <font color=>Makoto ：Ehhh?! <font color=>Nagisa ：Yay! <font color=>Rei ：Haruka-senpai’s decisions all center around mackerel… <font color=>Makoto ：I lost to mackerel

Translator's Notes

 * 1) Nagisa probably meant “Iwatobi kuri-pan” which is “Iwatobi chestnut bread,” but he stressed the wrong syllables and said “Iwa to bikkuri-pan,” literally “Rock and Surprise bread.” I translated it as “Rock and hopping” to include the “Iwatobi” (rockhopper) part of it.