Ore no Imouto ga Dokozo no Otoko to Date Nante Suru Wakeganai

 (俺の妹がどこぞの男とデートなんてするわけがない Ore no Imōto ga Dokozo no Otoko to Dēto Nante Suru Wakeganai) is the eleventh track of the drama CD Iwatobi Kōkō Suiei-bu Katsudō Nisshi 2. It was released on September 25, 2013.

Translation
Rin ：“There’s No Way My Little Sister Is Dating Some Guy.”

[Rin sighs] Nitori ：What’s the matter, Rin-senpai? Rin ：Nothing. It’s just a little thing with Gou… Nitori ：Your sister? Is something wrong? Rin ：N–No, nothing.

Rin ：(I can’t… I can’t tell anyone that Gou’s been going out with someone every Sunday lately. I cannot… I cannot tell anyone that I’m so worried about my little sis that I’m going crazy!)

Nitori ：Oh, could it be that your sister has made a boyfriend? It is the Christmas season after all, it’s the season of lovers– Rin ：THERE’S NO WAY! Gou is still a freshman in high school! Dating a guy at that age is unthinkable! Gou would never do that! Nitori ：W–Why are you getting so worked up, Rin-senpai? Rin ：I–It’s nothing! Nitori ：But your sister is cute. Captain Mikoshiba seems to like her, too. Rin ：(It can’t be… The captain didn’t lay his filthy mitts on her, did he?!) Nitori ：Now that I think about it, Captain went out somewhere with a big smile on his face last Sunday. Could it be– Rin ：[stands up quickly] I’m going for a jog! Nitori ：Eh?! But you just came back from a jog! [Rin rushes out] Nitori ：Wait, Rin-senpai!

<font color=>Rin ： Goddamnit! Mikoshibaaaaaaaa!

[Rin bangs on Mikoshiba's door] <font color=>Mikoshiba ：What’d you wake me up for at this hour, Matsuoka? <font color=>Rin ：Mikoshiba– Captain! There’s something I have to ask you. <font color=>Mikoshiba ：Oh?! You can ask me anything! <font color=>Rin ：Where did you go last Sunday? <font color=>Mikoshiba ：Last Sunday? I went to go see a movie. <font color=>Rin ：?!!!! With a girl? <font color=>Mikoshiba ：Yep! With the little sister! <font color=>Rin ：DAMN IT, I KNEW– <font color=>Mikoshiba ：Ahahahahaha! <font color=>Rin ：You– <font color=>Mikoshiba ：I’m just like you, I have a little sister of my own who’s a high school freshman. <font color=>Rin ：Your… sister? <font color=>Mikoshiba ：That’s right. There was a movie she really wanted to see, so I went with her. The movie is called “The Rat Life” and it was pretty interesting squeak! <font color=>Rin ：Squeak…

<font color=>Nitori ：Sounds like it wasn’t a date with your little sister. <font color=>Rin ：Yeah… What the hell kind of movie is “The Rat Life” anyway? <font color=>Nitori ：But this is good news, isn’t it? <font color=>Rin ：NO, IT’S NOT. (If that’s the case… someone else is going out with Gou! …It’s not Haru, is it?!) [Rin hurriedly makes a phone call] <font color=>Rin ：…He’s not picking up! I forgot, he doesn’t carry his phone around goddamnit! What’s the point of having a phone in the first place then?! [Rin calls another line] <font color=>Makoto ：Hello? <font color=>Rin ：MAKOTO! Is Haru there?! <font color=>Makoto ：He’s here. Hang on a sec. <font color=>Rin ：Hurry up! <font color=>Makoto ：Haru! <font color=>Haruka ：Hm? <font color=>Makoto ：Rin is on the phone and he’s pissed. <font color=>Haruka ：Okay… What is it, Rin? <font color=>Rin ：HARU! [in a calmer voice] I have to ask you something. What were you doing last Sunday? <font color=>Haruka ：Watching a movie. <font color=>Rin ：WHAT?! <font color=>Haruka ：“The Rat Life.” <font color=>Rin ：You, too?! <font color=>Haruka ：Nagisa said he really wanted to see it, so I went with him– <font color=>Nagisa ：Hello, Rin-chan? “The Rat Life” is a really fun movie! I recommend it! We invited Rei-chan too, but he said [imitating Rei] “I don’t watch incomprehensible movies like that” and– [Rin hangs up] <font color=>Rin ：Damn it! Who the hell is it then?! Who keeps going out on a date with Gou every week?! <font color=>Nitori ：Eh?! Every week? Is that so? <font color=>Rin ：Y–Yes, but– It’s not like I’m worried! I’m not worried at all!!! <font color=>Nitori ：Don’t worry, Rin-senpai. I have an idea. <font color=>Rin ：A good idea? <font color=>Nitori ：Yes. It’s a way for us to find out the truth. <font color=>Rin ：W–What way is that? <font color=>Nitori ：We’ll tail after her. <font color=>Rin ：That’s stalking! <font color=>Nitori ：So are you telling me that you don’t want to know who your sister is with? <font color=>Rin ：…

<font color=>Rin ：Hey. <font color=>Nitori ：Y–Yes? <font color=>Rin ：Are you sure about this? <font color=>Nitori ：Don’t worry. With these disguises, she’ll never know that it’s us. No matter how people look at us, we’re a novice movie director and a first-class cooking apprentice. <font color=>Rin ：Where the hell did those details come from?! No one can even tell which of us is the movie director and which of us is the cooking apprentice since this story is sound-based… <font color=>Nitori ：Shh! Here she comes! [Gou comes out of a building] <font color=>Rin ：Gou is alone. <font color=>Nitori ：Looks that way. She must be heading to the meeting spot now. Let’s go.

<font color=>Nitori ：This is… <font color=>Rin ：A sports shop. I knew it was someone from the swim club…! <font color=>Nitori ：There’s the person she’s meeting. <font color=>Hanamura ：Good morning, Gou! <font color=>Gou ：Sorry to keep you waiting, Hana-chan! <font color=>Rin ：Hana-chan? <font color=>Nitori ：It’s a girl friend… <font color=>Rin ：[sighs] Guess we should leave. <font color=>Gou ：I’m sorry for making you come with me every week. <font color=>Hanamura ：Don’t worry about it. But even though we’ve visited a lot of shops, I guess this is the obvious last place to be in, huh? <font color=>Gou ：If it’s a present that’ll make him happy, it’s got to be from here. <font color=>Rin ：PRESENT?! <font color=>Nitori ：Shh! Rin-senpai, keep your voice down! Let’s follow them! <font color=>Rin ：OKAY! <font color=>Nitori ：Shh! Shh! [Rin and Nitori enter the store] <font color=>Gou ：This parker is wonderful. It looks so manly. Also, this face towel. <font color=>Hanamura ：Yeah! The red color looks so cool! It’s nice! <font color=>Gou ：I’ll put them together with these goggles too… Excuse me, can you wrap these up as a Christmas gift? <font color=>Nitori ：It looks like she’s buying a Christmas present. <font color=>Rin ：Who is it for, damnit?! <font color=>Hanamura ：What are you going to write on the message card? <font color=>Gou ：Just a normal “Thank you for everything, Brother,” I guess. <font color=>Rin ：Eh? <font color=>Hanamura ：I’m so jealous that you have such a good-looking brother. <font color=>Gou ：He can be a pain sometimes, though. He’s never honest about his feelings. <font color=>Nitori ：It was a present for you, Senpai. <font color=>Rin ：Let’s go, Ai. <font color=>Nitori ：Okay!